When Workload Isn’t the Whole Story Behind Burnout

Burnout is often described as the result of too much work and too little rest. That’s partly true – but it’s far from the whole picture.

Behind packed calendars and constant demands, there is often a nervous system that has been stuck in a state of high alert for years. For many, this began in childhood. In emotionally immature families, the “emotional wifi signal” is often tuned to worry, shame, and criticism. The child learns to live with a constant sense of threat.

This shapes the body. Our nervous system, from the perspective of Polyvagal Theory, operates in three main states:

• Safety (ventral vagus): presence, calm, and recovery.

  
  

• Fight/flight (sympathetic): stress and high alert.

  
  

• Shutdown (dorsal vagus): exhaustion and hopelessness.

In a secure upbringing, we learn to move flexibly between these states. In an insecure environment, the system often gets stuck.

• Sympathetic as the default: constant anxiety, overachievement, restlessness.

  
  

• Dorsal vagus as the default: emptiness, fatigue, emotional numbness.

When the body can no longer return to safety, it keeps running in overdrive – sometimes for decades. Eventually, it breaks down. That’s when burnout sets in.

Recovery, in this situation, isn’t just about rest. It’s about teaching the nervous system new ways back to safety. Here are a few starting points – along with books that can help you go deeper:

• Replace self-criticism with a more compassionate inner voice.

📚 Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff – a foundational book on developing self-kindness instead of self-judgment.

• Use simple body-based cues – like slow exhalations or gentle touch – to calm the system.

📚 The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk – on how the body holds stress and trauma, and how healing can happen through the body.

• Seek relationships where worries can be shared without being dismissed or amplified.

📚 The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté – on how our culture and relationships shape health, stress, and recovery.

• Create small moments of stillness in daily life – in nature, with music, or through creativity.

📚 Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang – on why recovery and creative rest are essential for sustainable performance.

• Get to know your nervous system and understand why it reacts the way it does.

📚 Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana – with practical examples and exercises for understanding and calming your nervous system in everyday life.

Burnout isn’t just about workload. It is often the end point of a nervous system that has been doing its best to protect you for a very long time.

The good news is that the nervous system can change. With small, consistent steps, you can build a new emotional signal – one tuned to calm, clarity, and resilience.

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